Action Points for this episode:

Add in the “Open Files” Concept — Open files are places in our lives where we leave something hanging, not communicating about a problem because we hope it will go away or that we can just deal with it. These open files add up, making a mess in our mental and emotional lives. Close those files, and everything feels more clear.

Set a Time for Conscious Communication — Often we can be tempted to have “important talks” right when we’re in the heat of an argument. NOT a good time to talk constructively, because we are in our sympathetic mode, and our minds aren’t capable of rational, creative thinking. Instead, we can set a future time to sit down, when emotions have settled, and discuss the issue then.

Embrace Validation — Validation is an immensely powerful tool for any relationship. By validating another’s feelings, we build bridges and open new doors of communication. 

The book The Power of Validation: Arming Your Child Against Bullying, Peer Pressure, Addiction, Self-Harm, and Out-of-Control Emotions by Karyn Hall and Melissa Cook is a great place to start learning about validation, especially with children (although the concepts can be extrapolated to adults as well)!

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