Rebecca and I focused on love as the centerpiece of our life. It may not be for everyone, but here is how we did it and the gifts it has brought into our life.
Action Points for this episode:
Add in the “Open Files” Concept — Open files are places in our lives where we leave something hanging, not communicating about a problem because we hope it will go away or that we can just deal with it. These open files add up, making a mess in our mental and emotional lives. Close those files, and everything feels more clear.
Set a Time for Conscious Communication — Often we can be tempted to have “important talks” right when we’re in the heat of an argument. NOT a good time to talk constructively, because we are in our sympathetic mode, and our minds aren’t capable of rational, creative thinking. Instead, we can set a future time to sit down, when emotions have settled, and discuss the issue then.
Embrace Validation — Validation is an immensely powerful tool for any relationship. By validating another’s feelings, we build bridges and open new doors of communication.
The book The Power of Validation: Arming Your Child Against Bullying, Peer Pressure, Addiction, Self-Harm, and Out-of-Control Emotions by Karyn Hall and Melissa Cook is a great place to start learning about validation, especially with children (although the concepts can be extrapolated to adults as well)!